The per-juror. : As it is acted at the Theatre in Lincoln's-Inn Fields ... To which is added, The juror. a farce

THE .

PER-JUROR.

f\s it is A&ed at the Theatre
in .Lincoln s-Inn-Fielck.

Si Populus vult decipi, dtcipiatur.

To which is Added, The

JUROR,

If a r c e.

V D U B L I-N:
printed, for Thomas Wilkinson,
Book-Binder, in High-ft,m,

(Price,

J J

THE

PREFACE

I Find my [elf under a Neceffity of trou-
bling my Readers with a Treface, by
^Leafon of a Report which has gone through
the Town, very much to my Difadvantage,
to wit, that I had calculated this FARCE
purely to affront and expofe a particular Gen*
\tleman, which is fo far from my Intention, that
U ever thought there was nothing more dijin-
Utenuous in Dramatic Writings, than- Refle-
ctions on particular Terfons ; 'Tis an Indifcre-
\\ion I would not be thought guilty of ; efpeci-
i$y to affront the Gentleman, whom fome ill-
liatur'd Terfons have unjtiflly flx*d the Satyr
\\fon, and for whom I always had a very great
vkefpelt.

|i No doubt there have been, and may be
\ferfons, whom, like the Juftice in the Farce,
wufe their CommiJJions, and tt has ever been
\fTriviledge peculiar to the Stage, to detect
Wice in every Shape, and I think the mo(t
Wettual Way of fuppreffing it, is to make it
I ridiculous. iA Satyr

Tiae ¥ REFJC E.

Satyr is undoubtedly a very afeful W
and particularly in the Di&ma, fir' that t
■principal End of it is to inftruB the People
discrediting Vice, and may therefore be of grt
Advantage to a .State, when taught to kt
within its "Bounds ; but if Satyr once thn
off the Mask, and reprehends Vice too open
/ts by reflecting on Per fans, I own it is not
be allow'd of.

When Shakefpear, Johnfon, Fletcher, ru
the Stage.

They took fo bold a Freedom with t;
Age,

That there was fcarce a Kj?ave or Fool
Town,

Of any Note, but had his *Pi&ure fhown
And ( without doubt) tho' f°me it may
offend,

Nothing helps more than Satyr to a-
mend

111 Manners, or is trulier Virtue's Friend
Trinces may Laws ordain, Priejls grave
"Preach.

But Poets moft fuccefsfully will Teac

ROCHESTEJ

PROLOGUE,

Spoken by Mr. Spiller.
So ! bow do y ou do good Teople ?

ELL, I'm glad that any thing will bring
you,

10 Faith we've nothing but a Name to win you*

j 1 you that come expefting PARI Y-W I T,

; fure as you're alive now, you are all bit.

) doubt your Expectations all were big,

,iat this PER -JUROR was a furious
1 WHIG,

I Wolf difguis'd, fome fliam Religious Preacher .

Yea-and-Nay Friend, or Anabaptift Teacher
jf-; Politicks we cautioufly difelaim ;

ho d with frefti Fuel feed a Dying Flame I
1 e fcorn a Shelter from that ftale Pretence,
• fcreen with Party-Rage our WantofSenfe ;
, r Author ladies not a W H I G or TORY,

t eoramon Vices in a fictitious Story ;
dd I my felf am thought a Subjeft fit
£ f Farce, (You know that needs but little Wit)

thefe Ihort Scenes my Chara&er is fliown,

. o' that, you'll fay, already's too well known:
J : for our Farce, yet hold, I will not fay't,

wou'd be Ralhnefs to anticipate ;

L let it rather wait, and (land the Teft,

ink on the Title, and you'll find the Jcft.

tis Perfonae.

/.flHk EN,

JUfrf Juftke^"' " C°lmiMl'- * Mo

Thorough-pace^ Conftable,^

and a Creature of thevMr. H. Bull
Juftice's. J>

B1tmarn.a G°Unt^ Gen'}Mr. William
Spoilem, 9 CMr, Spiller.

Merry-And r©w > A&ors^ Mr. Scot.
Jofeph Idle J CMr. Egleton.

Clerk. Mr. Griffin.

WOMEN.

lfabella. Mrs. Robertfon.

A&refs. Mrs. Vmch.

Bams, Servant to the Juftice.

SCENE.

A Mob, a Country Market-Town

THE

PER-JUROR.

Enter Bellmour and Thorough-pace.

SCENE I.

Bellmour.

f. £ L L, Mr. <Thorough-pacei thus far you
have managed Matters like a States-
man 5 and on the Succefs of this
Projefl: my future Ha ppinefs depends:
For what is Life without my Ifabella ?

Vhor. And what is Life, fay I, with-
out Money ? That's the Axis on
which the whole World turns, the
ty to which all Men Sacrifice 5 fome their Ho-
urs, Reputation, Families, Relations, nay, Wives
1 Daughters, Countries, and Religions : In fhort Sir,
to wife, and know there is no Crime like Poverty.—
u love Ifabella 5 I like five hundred Guineas better,
ich you have promis'dme, if I carry my Point 5 and
^ ngnifies a little Perjury ? ~ — there's many an ho-
gVLan keeps a Wife and Family by it.
R But did the Jufiice mdily grant you a War-

Her. At

2 The Per-Juror.

V%o/. At the firft Word, Sir } why 'tis bringing C

to hU own Mill Ay, you don't know what a g

Traie a Juftice o' th5 Peace is, at ieaft as this old ;
lotf makes it.

Bell. A cunning Knave this !

*fhor. If youpleafe, I will in a fliort Digreflion
open to you the whole Myftery of Iniquity j it w
interrupt our Bufinefs.

Bell With all my Heart, Mr. thorough-face.

Hhor. You muft know, here is an old Fellow, qu
fied with Ill-Nature and Avarice, by the Help (
little Money, and fome Intereft, gets int© the Comi
fion : He entertains a Clerk, fome broken Attori
(for they make the beft Clerks ; ) he confequently
more Senfe than the Juftice, at leaft more Law 5
foe their Honefty they are generally upon y Par.
JFees are divided into four Parrs ; the Tuftice has t
the Clerk one, and the Favourite Conftable the oth

P " .Very well.

Befides which, the Juftice, out of his <
r , allows twenty Shillings a Week to a Cot

0 5* y/, (which are vulgarly called Informers) ar
hrndu^ie Treat now and then to the Watch-men,
knocking Gentlemen down- in the Streets, and fwea
Riots againft 'em the next Morning.

Bell. But this is a moft Villainous Way of get
Money. . / • *■

*tk*r. I don't know, M?fter, but every Man is \f i!
to make the beft of his Place 5 we inferior Magifti
can plead both great and ancient Examples ; e
Man muft have his Share of Profit 5 the Comn
wealth is a great Machine, compofed of many greTit
fmall Wheels, and every one tnuffe be greafed. \
Sir, here is th;s old Juftice Bind over, if he had fift
Family, it would not coft him Two-pence.all the 1
for Bread and Meat.

B*ll No! how is that pcrffible ?

2W. Why, Sunday Morning is his Market-day, vj
he never fails to take fronr Butchers, Bakers, and r
terers, who venture to fell to paor* Workmen that c

The Per- Juror. 3

a Sdturday Night, Beef, Bread, and Fowl enough
itain his Houfe the enfuing Week.
What a wicked Caitiff muft this be ! I fuppofe
\ very fever e upon thefe poor Adiors.

Oh ! he always had an Averfion to Players, and
of any Opportunity to exprefs his Refentment.
'tis time now to put my Warrant in Execution
them.

Well, I have my Licenfe In my Pocket, and the
are prepared for the Parfbn and my felf 5 we'll
1 on immediately, and then get among the A8ors$
Pure don't ^ou fail to feize us among the reft.

I warrant you, and fwear againft you too a-
he reft,

[Exeunt federally \

?i N E Changes : Enter Jufiice Bind-o id
Ifabella.

Look ye, Sweetheart, I wou'd advife y rfoi
3: my Love 5 Confider your Father left # u to
re, and your Fortune is at my Difpofal.

But my Heart is at my own, and I'm refolv'd
o part with my Hand without it.

And I am refolv'd never to part with your For-
mlefs you give both Heart and Hand to me.

Come, come, old Guardian, 'tis in my Power
ive you 5 Neceflity may perhaps oblige me to
y Hand, but depend on't you'll never have my
: Tho' perhaps I may flatter you into a Belief
>u have : Nay, upon Confideration, I don't know
nay confent to Marry you 5 for then I am fure
)e in my Power to break your Heart in a Month 5
en my Perfon and my Fortune will be both in my
al.

. This is talking at Random 5 I am fure you are
2 Perfon you wou'd have me take you to be.

IfaK Indeed

4 The Per - Juror.

Ifab. Indeed I am 5 tho'I amfure you are not

perfon you wou'd have me take you to be.

Ju(l. We fliou'd make a very happy Couple.

Ifab. Good Guardian, have the Fear of Cuckolc
before your Eyes, and think no more of Matnmo

—'tis ridiculous in you to think of taking a g

Houfe, when you have not wherewithal to furmj

and a fine Tenement won't ftand empty yery 1

in this popular City .• In fhort, Guardian, I hav<
my Heart upon a young Man, and will make ui
the firft Opportunity to run away with him, an<
your humble Servant. V

Jufi Oh! your Servant Mrs. Wagtail. Ud/ t
Girles have ftrange Notions in their Heads ; Culpa
Midwifery, and Ari/htk's Problems, have ipoild
the young Women in Town 5 they are skill d m
•Theory at Twelve Years old, and then run mad tor

Tragical Part : Oh ! here comes Mittimw

Clerk.

Enter the Clerk.

So, Mittimus, did you tell thorough- pace to bnre
Players dire&ly away to me ? • ,

Clerk. I did, an't mall pleafe your Worfliip, and
obey your Worfhip's Commands to a T'ttle.

JhL And fo he ought, for he owes all hes wort
me j l rais'd him firft from a common Evidence, an<
dinary Per-iuror, and paltry Informer, to a petty
ftable i and finding him well qualify'd, have given

due Encouragement : Now, Mittimus, la

fore me the Statutes againft Vagabonds, that 1 may E
'em over before thefe Players come : 1 11 Ptyers j
I'll fee what Power they have to Aa in my lurtldic ,
I'll rout 'em out of this Town, I'mrefolv d.

Clerk. The Statutes are upon the Table, oir.

7«tf. Now, tell the Cook to boil the Leg of Mi \
I took from the Butcher laft Sunday Morning, ai
put the Beef in Salt againft next Week 5 and »e
Cabbages be boil'd that I took from the Herb- W<
over the way ; and the two Loaves that were t
from Brand the Baker, (that's a fad Rogue, I ha

The Per - Juror. 5

>ight agalnft him, and Ihoromh-pace fhall fwear a Riot
ainft him the next Bonfire Night) let them be made
:o a Pudding.

Clerk. Yes, Sir. [Exit.
Jufi. I'll teach them to fell Things on a Sunday, I
11, a Pack of prophane Wretches, that have no Re-
2ft to the Sabbath 3 and yet I hope they won't have
e Grace to leave it off.

Enter the Clerk.
Clerk. Sir, there's one Goodman Conference defires to
?ak with your Worfhip.

Juft. Pho ! I'm not atleafjrenow hold

y, Goodman Confience let me fee 1 have

ird of fuch a one Goodman Confience he can't

e in the City, and lam fure I know no fuch one

the other End of the Town.

'"Jerk. No, Sir, he looks as if he liv'd in the Country 5
s very Poor and Shabby.

fufi. Goodman Confience — he can't be an Attorney,
—is he a Parfon ?

1lerk. I don't know but he may but he does not

ar a Gown.

faft. Odfo ! now I call it to mind, I had fuch an

juaintance formerly, but it's a great while ago 5

Goodman Confcience — Ay, ay, but 1 have had no

juaintance with him fince I was fworn into the Com-
lion 5 nor, to tell you the Truth, don't defire it 5 —
5 a troublefome Fellow, that fame Cvnfhnce is, and I
ft put him off.

'lerk. Won't your Worfh:p fpeak with him then ?
*uft. No, Sirrah, I won't have any Thing to fay to

a 5 Go Sirrah, go tell this Fellow, this fame

rciencc^ I am not at leifure to fpeak with him, lam
ie about State Affairs, — 1 am reading the Statutes :
-And, do you hear ? if ever Cnfcience comes again,
him I am not at Home — Hold, Sirrah, you are
)g away with half your Errand, — be fire you ne-
fend him after me to Change- Alley,
krk. No, no, Sir, I believe he does not know the
y thither.

Jy.f. Hark

6 The Per- Juror.

Juft. Hark ye, Mittimus, you may tell Goodra
Conscience I have no Bufinefs for him my felf $ but
would have him go to Wefiminfter next Term, for the
will be fome Lawyers there, whom I know will wa
him very much.

Enter Thorough-pace, with feveral Players in their Habit
JBellmour drefi like a flayer, with him a Par/an in a Frie
Habit.

*Xhor. Make way, make way there**- — May it plea
your Wor/hip, according to your Worfhip'sComman
I have ferv'd your Warrant upon thefe Players, whc
I took in the very Breach of the Law, a£ling propha
Interludes.

Juft. 'Tis very well j you have done your Duty, IV

thorough-face. Hark you, a Word in your E;

[they whifp

Enter Ifabella.
Bell. Now, my Dear Ifabella, this is the Crifis of n
Fate 5 1 have made ufe of this Stratagem to obtain th<
This Gentleman is in Orders, whom I have broug
hither to do us the good Office $ let us take this Oppc
tunityof retiring out of the Crowd into another Roo
and put it out of Fortune's Power ever to crofs
more.

Ifab, Follow me this Moment

[Exit Ifab. Bell, and Fri

'Thor. Yes, yes, and pleafe you, Til fwear as mu
as your Worfliip thinks fit againft them : You kno
Sir, I was never backward of ferving Your Worft
upon any Occafion. — But what would you be pleal
to have me fwear ?

Juft. Oh, you need no Inflruflion, Mr. *Xhorough-ps<
■ — fwear as you do upon common Occafions, — ■ — wl
comes uppermoft : I only defire to bind 'em over
fhall be fatisfied with my Fees, and five Pieces aft
wards to flifle the Indi&ment. Come, fet the Prifon
before me. -r— Well, Gentlefolks, how comes
that notwithftanding the late A& againft Vagrancy a

The P e R - J u r o r. 7

ors of Interludes, you dare, in Contempt of the
v, exhibit your prophane Drolls, ha ?
toil. May it pleafe your Worfhip, it has been a Cu-
n for many Years to Aft in this Place, at this time
t Year.

■uft. I don't value the Cuftom 5 Mains ufus abolendusr
and the A&ors punifh'd : I am for a thorough
brmation, and with the Zeal of an upright Magi-
te will purfue it : I lock up my own Cat every Sa-
ay Night, left fhe fhou'd break the Law, and catch
e on a Sunday : I will fcourge Vice out of my Jurif-
1} I have ferrited every Hole, Crack and Cranny
le Parifh, that Vice could but put its Head into.
'for. Ay, his Worfhip is a notable Man at a Bawdy-
lfe.

'uft. Right, Mr. Thorough-pace 5 there is not a Bawdy-
ile in the Parifh, that I am not acquainted with 5 I
them twice or thrice a Week at leaft : Let me alone
^ewdn^fs: If there be a Whore more than ordinary
le Parifh, I prefently fcent her out, I warrant you.
hot. Ay, his Worfhip has a fpecial Nofe that Way.
^ft. Ay, ay, Mr. Thorough- pace, let me alone with
£ lewd Women 3 I love to have the handling of

1 my felf $ I never fail to tickle 'em off But

?, Mr. Thorough-pace, bring that Fellow in the
h'd Coat before me. Weil, what is your

^ril. James Spollem^ I am Matter of the Company,
Jill thefe are my Servants.
^ft. What do you a£t in this Play ?
A Fool, and like your Worfhip.

"ft. A Fool ? Well, but what do you fay In this

I?

Jjj'i/. Say? Why, 1 fay abundance of filly things,

t.!like your Worfhip, and make People laugh at

.;/?. Well, and what are you ?

Hit What am I? Why, I am a Gentleman, and 3,

Jcal Dog, if you did but know me.

Jf. What Religion are you of ?

8 The Per- Juror.

Spoil Religion ? Hum / Why truly I h;

not fix'd upon any yet, nor I believe flian't, till

Times are fettled.

Juft. Where do you live ?

Spoil Live ? I don't live any where, not I.

Jufl. What Parifh are you of ?

Spoil No Parifh at all. Lookee, I defire y

Worflrip would not ask me many Queftions about
feif, for I don't know any Man in the World th
know fo little of. I have been very unaccountabl
great while ; The beft Account I can give of my
is this 5 I love every Body but myfelfand a Ba
and I hate him for his ABions. I never lie three ti
in one Bed, unlefs I am lock'd in the Room, and h
no conftant Lodging but the Rcund-houfe.

Juft. Mr. 'Thorough-pace, have an Eye to this IVi
I don't care to truft him.

Spoil No, nor no body elfe that knows me.

Juft. A very pretty Relation, truly !—*— Well
^Thorough-peace, what have you to fwear againft this
fon?

?W. Why, an't pleafe your Worlhip, I faw this 1
flie away with the Devil. i

Spoil You lie, the Devil flew away with me, a J
will with you, if you don't learn to fpeak Truth : I
I don't believe he'll be fo civil to you, as he was to i[
for he brought me back again.

Jufl. Do you know, Mr. Spoikmy that there is a Po I.
Canon which fays, Excommunicatio Theatrice?

Spoil This Jurtice is certainly a Fool for fpeaking M
tin to me, and I believe he knows as little of it as 1 ;

Egad I'll fpeak to him again. Your Worfhip e

right, there is fuch a Cannon } but then you ar U
ronfider it is a Vopijh Canon, and that fignifies no r Ju
in this Cafe than a Pot-Gun 5 befides, the Statute to
fays, Non eft Jufticius Excommumcatio AHorus Demise. Ju

Juft. You fay right, Mr. SpoJiem, I undsrftand m

Spoil Egad, it's more than any body elfe dm*
Faith, I thought this Juftice was an old Woman. I;

Tie Fer-Juror. 9

Juft. I remember, Mr. Spoliem, a parallel Cafe dia-
trically oppofite to thrs, touching one touching a Fel-
y, who was obferv'd to write a Paper called the Ob-

tator : But, now I think of it, 1 have forgot it.

Tbcr. But, may it pleafe your Worfhip, this Man
ore as I brought him along.
Juft. How ! did you fwear, Sir ?

Spoil. Hum fwear? Why truly I don't know

y Man in the Company was likelier to fwear than
J felf.

Thor. Indeed he fwore, I'll take my Oath of it : Give
i the Book.

Spoil Ay, ay, give him the Book 5 he's an honeft

How, I perceive, and will fwear any thing.

Juft. Well, Sir, you muft pay a Shilling.

Spoil. But one Shilling? Why, Sir, I am a Gentle-

m.

Juft. Then you muft pay two.
Spoil. There they are 3 and now I am a clear Man.
Juft. Clerk, write down James Spoilem two Shillings
an Oath.

Spoil. Hold, Mr. Goofe-quill, pray wrne James Spoliem,

nt. Gent. d' you {ee James Spoliem, Gent. 1

ve paid a Shilling extraordinary for that.
Juft. Stand you by. Now, Sir, what are you?
Merr. I am a Merry-Andrew, and like your Wor-
P-

Juft. Where do you live ?
Merr. In Duke's Vlace.
Juft. Where is that?
Merr. Juft by a Street.

Juft. Juft by a Street ? But in what Parifh do you
e?

Merr. In Duke's flace*

Juft. Why, what Church do you go to ?

Merr. I never go to Church, Sir.

Juft. O terrible / he's a Papijt, I warrant.

Merr. No, lama Jew, and like your Worfhip.

Juft. A Jew* Oh, 'that's well! — A Jew? — Truly,

was afraid he had been a ?apift. A Jew?- — Well,

d what is your Chriftian Name, Friend ?

Merr*

I o The Per-JurOiu £3

A/^r. Sir, I have no Chriftian Name 5 Iamca '

Jidordecai.

Jufi. Stand you by. Now, Woman, what is 3 ;

Name ?

Player. Jofeph Idle, and pleafe your Worfhip.

Jufi. How! Jofepb* Why, Woman, that's a M 1
Name. ^ »

May it pleafe your Worfhip, this is a ?
draft in W omens Cloaths. tf

Jufi. O prophane ! prophane/ A Man in Worn.
Cloaths ? Why, how fhall we know the Men from

Women at this rate ? This is very prophane / V

fet the other before me. Well, good Woman,

you a Man too?

ASrefs. Do I look like a Man, an't pleafe y
Worfhip ?

Jufi. Nay marry, there is no finding you out 13
t\e Looks at this rate : Let me fee my Spefhcles.-
Hum ! I proftfs, a pretty Woman, a very pretty \ 1

man. Stoop a little a fine Breaft! ah / 1

Let me feel of your Hand ha ! ah /

Aftr. Your Worfhip fqueezes me too hard.

Jufi. Her Hand is nfrue of thefofteft j I believe i
has been a Clear-Starcher. Why, what pity 'tis j 1
fhould be among fuch a Set of People.* I profrfs, :
Bowels yearn for thee, to think of thy wicked Pro)

fion. Lookee now, if {he does not blu(h !

Well, 'tis pity to expofe her before the Crowd } 1
has fome Modefty, and I will endeavour to conv
her. Mr. 'Thorough-pace, condufi the Gentlewoman
to my Drawing- Room, I will examine her bymyC

[Exit Thor. and A
Enter Servant. , :^iJ^^^B

Serv. May it pleafe your Worfhip, Mr. Catch'em \
Conftable has brought a lewd Woman to be exam
ed before your Worfhip.

Jufi. Is (he a young Woman ?

Serv. Yes, Sir.

Juft. Then I will go and examine her In my C
ftt. [£•

[Sp(

The Per-Juror. it

■ [Spoil. QtU into the JuJiUis Chair, and [peaks three Urns
I of Cato.] . _

I " Fathers, we once again are met in Council ,
I «« Cafar's Approach has fummon'd us together,
I " And Rome attends her Fate from our Reives.
I Clerk. Ah, Mr. Spoilem, you are a comical Man 5 1

T/Ko'utaLf Well .rib what

re you, a Man, or a fhotten Herring ?

CW. I am one of the Juftice's Clerks, as fimple as I
tand here : Lord ! I had once a great Mind to be an
tflor my felf 5 I could fpeak Speeches very well.

Spoil. Could you really? Why, we want handfome
/ouns Players, and I'll help you into the Houle.

S Can you indeed?— Well! 1 vow and fwear

.'d give any thing to be a Player. But can you help

me into the Houfe ? „ AAnrt

Spoil- Yes, yes 5 Why I teach all the young Aftors
my felf: Have you amind to be in the Houle?

Clerk. Yes, indeed have I, if you'll get me m.

Spoil. That I will ; but you rauft give me len ohil-

UnSi XTthat I will with all my Heart t There is
the Money. , .

S/>o//. Well, what are you for, or C^erfy?

Clerk. O! Genteel Comedy 1 a foft Lover ! or a He-
ro now ! fuch as Alexander, Orooncko, or Hannibal!

Sooil. Nay, you are too handfome to play low Come-
dy.' Well, now I muft hear you fpeak a Speech in

TCfe&d" Conqueft with Laurels did my Arms adorn.

Spoil. Hold, get o' top o'the Tables a nd 1 fpeak it
there, then every body will fee you. {InfiruBs bm bona

U^ery well! now you fhall hear me fpeak. tSfeahs
fome Lines out of Alexander Burlefyu'd. ^
" Thus Newgate, when in Profpeft, bars the £ye,
" Which, pleas'd and free, wou'd over Snow-hill.

" A;e- .„ , • , *N

*« To Uolhof.rn-miU or any Hill as high. _>
C * Farewell

I:

1 2 The Per- Juror.

" Farewell then Wenching, and the Jokes of Lcn

I; Jy.?? thlGo,ds„ lm to the Tavern move,
Call lor the beft, and pay my Money down,
And quae forget that er'e I fcbr'd a Grown.

Enter Jujlice and Thorough-pace.

Jufi. Well, Mr. Thorough-pace, let me have yourD
pofition, and I'll bind 'em all over together. [Reads.

1 he Deppfitions of John Fig, Grocer, in the Parilh
Gotham, and Nehemiah Thorough-pace, Conftable in tl
laid Pan/h, depofe before the Worlhipful Jufti .
Bmdover, that hearing of prophane and unlawf 3
Tractices committed in the abovefaid Parifh of Gotha; 01
by acting of Drolls and Interludes j they were mov<
by the Love they bear to Virtue and Piety, to go ar
fupprefs the Aaing thereof : And thefe Deponen
lwear, that going into the Stable where they afta

they law James Spoikm flie away with the Devil

U lad / Jofeph Idle ling in Womens Apparel, Ma

Greenfick phy a Virtuous Maid- 1 think fhe ougl

to be fent to the Workhoufe John Martin mak

Love in a violent Manner Here's wicked Doins

. . And Judith Hoyden wilh Ihe might never be mai

ned: O fad • O fad/ And further, thel

Deponents lay not.

.Tjs very well ! Gentlemen, you muft go Into th
next Rome, and lend for your Bail, for I am oblig'd t<
bind you all over, o ^emt
Now will I go vifit the Player Woman, for I pro
tels 1 find my Inclination ftirring.

{Exit

Enter Juftice an A Aftrefs.

ABr. This is Yurprifing $ I did not expeft to have
neard luch Difcourfe from a Perfon of Gravity, anc
a Magiftrate too! O fie upon it!

J*ft. A Maglftrate? What then, do you think ]
don't love a pretty Woman ? Verily but I do : Ay

and I ! Who can look upon thofe Bubbios, and noi

W1fh to Ah, ah, give me one Kifo

ARr. Oh ! I fwear I'll call out.

j4

fO

The Per-Juror. ij

Juft. If you do, adod I'll bind you over One

Is more Ah Rogue !

Enter Bellm. Ifab. and Thor. Uftening.

Bell. Here's an old wanton Goat !

"Thor. This is not the firft private Examination of

&

1 A8r. Well, I never met with any thing fo wick-

J Juft. Nor I with any thing fo tempting Had

>t you better fling off this prophane Apparel, leave

* >ur fcandalous Profeffion, be a Juftice's Houfe-keeper,
e > to Church once a Week, and live in good Reputa-
Sn?

AHr. How can you be fo wicked /
K Juft. Pftia ! you are a Fool $ there's nothing Wick-
"1, but what is Publick : 'Tis not the Sin, but the
k nowledge of it, which diftinguifhes the Thief from
»,ie But if every one were to wear his Con-

ience upon his Sleeve, I know what I know 5 marry,
} very Man would keep his Hands in his own Pockets,
l| nd cry, Stand clear Brother.

* Aftr. This Opinion of every body's Wickednefs is
nly a Proof of your own 5 for your Eyes being dif-

1!amper'd, every Perfon feems Yellow to you, which
roi not the Fault of the Objefl:, but the foul Per-
spective you look thro' : You judge of Mankind from
O rour own corrupt Mind, and draw Conclufions from
>afe and rotten Principles.

\ Juft. Pflia / this is talking of nothing at all : What
ignifies a Pint of cool Reafon, when a Man is fous'd
^ver Head and Ears in a Hogftiead of fcalding-hot
:Love? or chopping of Logick, when he's ftark mad to
3e kiffing of Lips ? I tell thee, thou haft the worft No-
tions to thrive by that are : The World is all a Cheat,
md Virtue but a Difguife, which, 'tis true, fhould
n^ver be thrown off, but where a Man knows his Com-
pany: Do but devoutly caft your Eyes upwards, and
*th no matter where your Hands are, in the Pocket or
Placket.
Mr. If I fhould tell this !

j 4 The Per - Juror.

Jufi. I would forfwear it, and then, from our Cha
&ers the World would believe it Malice. Od, y
don't know me, lama wicked old Dog

AH. So I perceive.

Jujl. Why, I have fent one Whore to the Woi
Houle, when I have had another in my Clofet at t
fame Time 3 but we muft punifh fome for Exampl
or elfe in a little Time the poor People wou'd be
wicked as their Betters.

Bel Your humble -Servant, Mr. Juflke. — Nay, do:
beftartled, your Worfhip is a wicked old Dog.

Jufi. O the Devil ! Have they over-heard all Whi
way got you into my Houfe ?

Bel. By the help of Difguife, and thishoneft Gent
man, I was brought in among the Players, and n<
come to demand my Wife's Fortune.

Jufi. What ! Have you married the Jade then ?

Bel. I have.

Jufi. The Devil do you good with her then,

Bel A very charitable Expreffion $ but, Sir, to ma]
fhort with you, I expert my Wife's Fortune to be pa
down immediately, or I fhall expofe your Armours.

Jufi. I don't value yourSpight, and fince you ha
over-heard me, you know what you have to truft t(
I can forfwear it.

TChor. I know you are pretty hard Mouth'd upon O
cafion, but here are four Witneffes, of which I am or
a Child of your own Teaching, a notable Per-juror, ai
I believe a Match for your Worfhip, fwear as faft as yc
will.

Jufi. Ah Rogue, Thorough-pace, are you in the Conf
deracy too ?

Tbor. Diamonds cut Diamonds, that's all ; I on
ferve my Client ; Intereft is my Fundamental Principl
as well as your Worfhips, and for that, I can fwear :
faft againft you as ever I did for you.

Jufi. Oh how wicked the World is grown ! What
become of Honefty, when Rogues can't be true to or
another / Well, there is no Help and 1 will be hi

The Per - Juror, 15

ift, fince 'tis not In my Power to be otherwlfe. —

ou fhall have her Fortune.

Bel That's all I ask 5 and for the future, I would
ave you lefs Zealous againft publick^ Follies, and be-
t In a Reformation in your own family : Forbear to
i erfecute your Neighbours, and correft your felf.

No Wonder if the Sheep do mlfs the Way>
When thofe who ought to guide *em tun afifay s
If Vice you would correft, this Maxim hnow%
Tour felf Jbould firjl a good Example jhew.

FINIS,

The Juror; a Farce. Written by W I
Sgty °f * J°hn'S Co11^ Chari

WW OghKy 1,15 ^ ?e<»ry Proceed, §h'
What Orphans rum'd, and what Nat ons bleed-

Kn- J? reS br?>6> What Monarch* been bSav'd
WW x^" nfe> and Tradefmens Fortune made i
What e re Nonjurors teach we fadly know ;
It is the Juror ftrikes the fureft Blo w '

The Non-juror a Comedy, as it is Afr

the w"fn *****